I’ve been away too long…..

There are times when life just takes over everything and the ability to reflect and write about it gets lost in the emotion of living it. I’ve missed writing because I find it cathartic and I often found I could find solutions to the issue I was addressing but once I stopped I just didn’t know how to get going again. It all just got too big. Too many emotions to just dive back into. I’d love to be dusting off my keyboard to write about all the battles we’ve overcome and the successes we’ve had since my last post but really all I can write about is the experiences and challenges we’ve had, and are still having. 

A lot has changed since my last post. When TCM and I separated 3 years ago it changed our trajectory as a family. Nearly a year ago we sold our family home and I moved to a new home with the children. That has been a lot for us all to handle and not something I could write about whilst it was happening. Moving home is a huge adjustment for any family and especially so for children who have adoption in their background. It’s been emotional and incredibly tough at times on us all. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted for a very long time after the move. Moving in a pandemic lockdown without all the usual support to call on was a very interesting experience and not one I’d like to repeat any time soon. We all then caught the dreaded Covid in 2021 and were poorly for a while.  I think it’s fair to say we’re only recently starting to feel like we belong to the house and our new neighbourhood. We’ve made some new friends and are starting to think about decorating. I’m not sure if you know what I mean but I finally found myself talking to my new home recently and felt a sense of connection, or maybe I’m turning into Shirley Valentine (minus the warm Greek beach). I don’t know if this will be my forever home but it feels like home now. I do still yearn for a home near the ocean or a beautiful river with a weeping willow - the sorts of places where insurance won’t cover the house due to coastal erosion or risk of flooding these days sadly.

So, a little about us. Katie is now 14 and Pip is 9 and I, of course, am ageless! We live with Bay and Zala our cats; 2 Guinea pigs called Nugget and Yogi and two tanks of fish that are recent additions to the family. Neither of the children are currently in full-time education, in part due to the many difficulties the pandemic threw our way but also because all their individual challenges have joined forces and made education feel just too much to handle. They cope in education for about an hour each a day, on a good day. It’s unlikely Katie will return to mainstream education but we are trying to keep Pip in his current school with lots of specialised support, I’ve been focussing my attention on getting them both EHCP’s which has been a very long battle. Last week I was finally in possession of two working EHCP’s (I hope) and we are starting to negotiate a school for Katie, most likely a school specialising in autism. It’s too much to narrow down in one post so I plan to focus over coming posts on the different experiences and what we’ve learned along the way. What I will say is today I completed an 8 week trauma and attachment course with CAMHS and knew it was time to start writing again, especially as we’re due to start DDP therapy with Pip soon. If I find the DDP therapy as emotional as I’ve found the trauma and attachment course then I may well have quite a few emotions to process…..