National Fostering Agency Part 2:
In the second part of a series of three posts from the National Fostering Agency the question of what qualities children look for in their foster carers is answered. If you missed Part 1 of this series then the post can be found here:
What Qualities Do Children Look For In Foster Carers?
Parents often want their children to be clever, polite,
sporty, successful and countless other qualities. Some even go to some extreme
lengths to ensure that this is the case. However, being a foster parent it’s
not about you or what you want, it’s about the children and what they need from
you.
Most foster parents do what they do because they love it.
They enjoy having the children around and get just as much from the
relationships. After all, they’re just people and not saints, and they have
their own reasons for wanting to foster. But the bottom line remains that they
need to do what is best for the foster children that come into their lives.
Now in most cases, this involves being consistent and laying
down rules and regulations that create a stable environment. Foster children
have to abide by the rules of their foster parents when in their homes. You
might think this is not quite what the children themselves would want but you’d
be wrong. One of the main things that any foster child says about the qualities
they look for in a foster parent is consistency. They want to be able to trust
the foster parent and know where they stand. More important than that, they
want to be treated as if they were their own children – and that involves rules
and stability.
Foster children want their foster parents to be kind and
happy, always smiling and generous too. They want to be made to feel welcome and
they want the foster parents to listen to what they have to say and to learn to
trust them.
In short, foster children want exactly the same things from
foster parents as any child does from any parent. Children are often very
intuitive and have a clear understanding of what they really need from foster
parents. And as a foster parent, it is your duty to try your best to provide this
for them.
Parents might want their children to be all the things
mentioned above but they also know that more importantly than that, their main
job is to ensure they provide their children with all the things they need to
make them feel safe and happy. As a foster parent, you need to know that this
same for you. There may be some subtle differences but the essentials remain
the same.
If you think that you can offer these qualities to a child
who may need them desperately, then you may be the right kind of person to
foster children. It is not always an easy job and while children all need the
same things deep down, they don’t always necessarily recognise this at all
times. Your job is to offer a consistent and stable environment built around
the main qualities the children need. You can only do your best to offer them
this - and you might just find that doing so is one of the most rewarding
things you will ever do.
Would you like to be a Foster Parent?
If Fostering is something you are interested in doing or you would like to talk to us further then come and check us out at:
NFA Website at http://www.nfa.co.uk/ or
Email: info@nfa.co.uk or
Thank you for posting these!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, Tim and I have been considering fostering for quite some time now (even before we had Oscar), we even started contacting foster care agencies earlier this year. Unfortunately both of us are having health issues at the moment so everything is on hold. We need to be far more stable before considering it any further and we both underestimated the depth of our health issues. However we still very much want to consider fostering again in the future, so it is great to read posts like these.
Tim is finally starting new treatment for his neuropathy and I see a consultant next week to discuss my options. I think I've exhausted most of my options over the past 15 years and so am hoping we can look at a more long-term management plan rather than the short-term options we've always looked at. I'm hopeful that in another year or two we may be in a position to look at fostering properly and actually start the process of applying to be foster carers. In the meantime I am reading all I can about it!