Bedtime Blues.....

My little lady almost broke my heart last night after a difficult bedtime where she wouldn't give us cuddles or goodnight kisses.  She does this every now and again and we say goodnight and I love you's and then head downstairs and wait for her tears to start indicating that she really does want a kiss and a cuddle.  At the moment, as I've mentioned in previous blog posts, she is missing me so much during the day whilst at school that she is holding on tight to me when she's home but pushing Daddy away again.  It is so difficult for poor old Daddy but he is so mature and understanding about it all (I'd be a wreck by now if she kept doing it to me I think!).  It must be so hard for him though.  I try to create times for them to be together so that Katie receives lots of experiences of Daddy meeting her needs and being there for her.  I sometimes hold back when she hurts herself to let Daddy tend to her and dry her tears (that is sooooooo hard for me!).  I have faith that it will right itself again once she settles into school but it's hard to watch and also to know how best to handle it.

So back to last night...........

I waited at the foot of the stairs to hear the tell tale signs that she was ready for me to go back up. 

Sobbing gently she asked me if Daddy loves her and I said "Of course he does darling. He loves you to the moon, stars and McDonalds and back".


"I love Daddy too" she said.

She then asked "Will you love me forever Mummy?" 

I replied "Honey I will love you forever and more. I can't imagine my life without you in it and I will always always be your Mummy." 

She then asked "Will you be my Mummy when I'm grown up?". 

"I will always be your Mummy, even when you're grown up and I have white hair - just like Nana and Pops, because they are Daddy's Mummy and Daddy" I said.

"Really?" she replied and then she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"That's good Mummy.  I love you.  I miss you when I'm at school all day.  It's not like when I was at (pre-school name) because then it was only for a little time and I was with you all the other times.  It's too long when I'm at school".

Mega internal sob going on here in my heart at this point. 

With a lump in my throat I replied "I love you too sweetheart and I miss you too when you're at school but next week, because it's half term, we'll get to spend the whole week together.  Isn't that great?"

"Really?" said Katie

"Yes really" I said.

"Oh good" she replied.

We had our goodnight kiss and cuddle and our little routine that we follow then I went downstairs and sent Daddy up for his kiss and cuddle.

He got a lovely one this time and it put a big smile on his face.